"A Cheerful Heart" Series: Structure = Support

What exactly is it that keeps a skyscraper standing tall in New York City?  Sure, physics plays a large part (the building wouldn't remain standing if it weren't so linear) but structural supports, its foundation, makes certain that the building will not succumb to weather or time. 

Now, we're certainly more complex than buildings...right?  Not really, no. ;o)  (Just for a note, I'd much rather be the Eiffel Tower or Big Ben than the PSFS Building in Philly - aesthetically speaking at least!)  For homemakers, as well as skyscrapers, structure equals support.  Without having a firm foundation to begin the day, we don't have as high of chances in maximizing our productivity.  Structure is not to confine us, it's this system of routines and standards which give our days direction, efficiency and achievement.

I already touched on morning routines a couple of weeks ago here, so today I wanted to further elaborate upon family routines.  It doesn't help much if mama is potent and effective and all of her family compadres are running wild.  The entire unit needs to be in synch.  But, remember, efficiency and flexibility go hand-in-hand.  Wherever young children (or tired grown-ups, let's not generalize, LOL) are involved, there must be room for "off" days, unplanned events and new opportunities.  Having a basic daily outline for yourself and your family that emphasizes expectations and tasks instead of rigidly adhering to times, lengths and unitarily measurable outcomes will be most practical.

Here are some ways that I accomplish this: (P.S.  I'm still learning, and continually will be doing so, so please don't think that I've earned my Routines-Work-for-Me girl scout badge yet!  These are the experiences of an "advanced novice" ;o)

• Adult Schedules:  For me, I like to adhere to a simple list that I write up each morning.  Vowing never to surpass five objectives, because then I get swamped and usually don't accomplish all of them, I cross things off as I go.  Here's a photo of today's "to do" list.  ** My Hubs doesn't have his own list, since he obviously works out of the home.  He has his own way of structuring his day at his company, but because the home is my office, I'm only concentrating on what I do to organize my own workspace.

Today includes: clean the bathroom, mop the kitchen floor, put away darks that were laundered yesterday, do the dishes (in anticipation of a home showing at 5:30 tonight) and pick up two books on hold, Jane Eyre and a Victorian guide to manners (as part of the new series starting this week, "Elegant Etiquette of Yesteryear and Today")

• Children's Schedules:  I believe in routines, not itineraries.  That's not to say that older children don't need to accomplish specific tasks at specific times, especially school-agers.  Homeschool classrooms have separate scheduling systems.  For now, while Grace is a toddler (burgeoning ten-year-old at heart, how do they get so grown-up so young?!  Eek!) I have a simple routine system on our refrigerator.  Just like my own to do lists, its effectiveness would be lessened if I featured too many daily tasks for her.  Keep your toddler's routine visuals simple.  Grace has photos of some of the most frequent things that she does in a day - potty, bed time, nap pillow, booster seat for eating, etc. - as well as some of the things that I do daily, like vacuuming (cleaning) and cooking.  We use her "chart" to emphasize tasks, accomplishments and planning.  It's hard when you're reading a book or playing in the dollhouse and all of a sudden Mommy says that it's time for a bath or that she's going to do the dishes.  With this visual, Grace moves a task card underneath the blue arrow to signify that it's about to happen.  Trust me, it's been a big learning tool.  As time goes by, I'll add labels with the task names on them, but I wanted to wait and actually incorporate that as a meaningful text lesson later on when it'll be more authentic educationally.  Also, as time goes on I plan to create two sets of photo cards.  As we go through the day (this is when she's older and more on a "timeline" approach) she can anticipate her schedule by matching the sets of cards to see what will come next.  Not only great for scheduling but also wonderful one-on-one correspondence as related to math and language arts.

Use photos that are easily recognizable and are familiar connotations of daily tasks - vaccuum for cleaning, for example, and her napping pillow for nap

Hello, snack tray!  (She eats snack on this tray while we read books together.  Other meals are eaten at the dining table)

• Family Activity Planning:  I couldn't write a section on structure without addressing how busy today's families are.  With one child in ballet, another in soccer, mom and dad in Bible study, etc. it's easy to get swept up into a torrent of busyness.  My plea to all families who rarely gather over the dinner table and who need to actually schedule their time together is: please simplify.  There is no substitute for the edifying fun and love that results from familial togetherness.  When I was a church preschool director, some parents already had their three-year-olds overscheduled.  In between Soccer-tots, dance classes and Mommy's Day Out activities, parents were so focused on preparing their children to excel in elementary school (a.k.a. "life") that they were undervaluing the very foundation on which true success ultimately springs from.  Faith and family shouldn't only adorn home decor items and wallpaper borders...they're two critical components of living a life in the Lord.  Simply being with your family and growing in your loving relationships with one another is actively cultivating godly faith.  I once heard marriage described (by Rick Warren perhaps?) as the best laboratory for God's love, because there's no other institution that requires such compassion, forgiveness, unconditional love and understanding.  In a larger scope, family is that same learning ground.  When it comes to family activity planning, keeping togetherness as your goal is essential.  Not just being together, but being together in the Lord is important.  When people are tired, cranky and really yearning for alone-time, they're not going to spend quality time together.  Delight in your family, never taking them for granted even in a moment's fleeting passing.  Keep your loved ones at the heart of all you do, remembering that serving them is serving Jesus Christ.

Family togetherness is especially fun when you have someone like THIS in your family, LOL

How do you plan scheduling and routines for your family?

Comments

[Mrs. Mordecai]

I am currently working on a routine for my son and myself. He's 20 months old, and I think it's time to do something. I love your idea of pictures; I had been thinking of something similar.

For myself, I'm trying to do different tasks on the same day each week, such as laundry, shopping, etc.

[Katie]

I have been trying very hard to work on getting myself into a daily routine, with my chores for each day "doable" so that I don't have a mountain of work on other days. In the past, I was always trying to set Amelia up with some toys while I would try to get some work done. Now, I am taking her with me for every chore when she wants to join me (laundry, floor scrubbing, etc.). Maybe it takes a little longer because she is unfolding the rag I just folded, or she's dipping her hand in the vinegar water scrub bucket (ew! I know!), but I am having fun, and I think she is, too. Plus, she is learning, right?

"Jane Eyre" is my ALL-TIME FAVORITE BOOK!! I read it too much (should probably spend my time on new, different books)!

The family togetherness and simplifying part...great!

I love, love, love the fridge pictures for Grace! Such a good idea! I'll have to keep that one in mind...

I also love that last picture of Grace. She looks like she is just playing away, totally accustomed to having someone in her face with ping-pong ball eyes!

[Simple Mom]

Love the photo chart idea! I've been racking my brain trying to figure out something that will work with my 3-year-old, and this just might be it. Thanks so much for sharing.